just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
