She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
