Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
