i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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