If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
