i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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