Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
