I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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