Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
