i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
