i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
