do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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