Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
