do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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