adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
