I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Panties = found
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