OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
