fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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