That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
