Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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