i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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