Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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