I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
