didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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