Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
