Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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