I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
