No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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