we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
