i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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