You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
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