My friends, they love my intelligence
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
In other news, I just burned my penis
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
