i don't like sucking hair
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
