Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
