You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
