and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
