If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
