Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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