So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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