i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize