I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
