Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
