I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
