I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
