He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
