why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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