He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
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She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
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words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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