maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
