Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
