Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
