Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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