i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
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Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
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Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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