We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
