Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
