Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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