I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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