would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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