Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
