But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
