i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
